rain, rain!
Today is a rainy day. It feels really good as long as I have an umbrella. Today I really just want to walk around town in the rain with nobody but my backpack and umbrella-my best friends today. It rained all night, but not hard, just steadily. That’s what makes it one of those good rainy days- it’s not raining too hard, which usually happens in San Antonio.
I want to stroll around in neighborhoods and watch people through their windows, cooking, eating, watching television, watching the rain. There are cats in windows looking out at birds and water, old ladies on rocking chairs, and people looking at the clouds wishing for love. Teenagers reading books and writing in journals, making music in their garage, painting, their own little world. Those people are me. They are the whole world, they are what I am and wish to be, will be. Names and arms, hair, shoes, clothing. Love, from friends and family- fresh fruit and cheese, Greek salad and hummus. A creative genius in the collective souls, hopes, dreams, and music.
so..today
i went to the field trip for school- garcia glass blowing, and the Julie Speed exhibit at Blue Star. It was really cool and I didn't have to goback to school- i just stayed here at Say Si. I saw the julie speed paintings on first friday but seeing them again was really cool. I want one!! Yeah, right. A painting of hers goes for about 30,000 dollars!! They are so awesome, though.
journal entries from the past...while
October 26, 2004
So, I went to go see theSTART last night even though it was a Monday night. It was a really great show. Whenever they come into town, they put on the best show. I got signatures from all of them on my Initiation CD that I bought, and also got a t-shirt. Even though I was sick, I screamed my lungs out and just had a blast. In fact, I think going to that show actually made me feel better. When I got home, my sinuses were clear and my throat didn’t hurt. It’s like that now, too. My head feels clear. Jenn told me not to study too hard, so I’m not going to stress out about anything today, even though I have things that I haven’t done that were already due. I don’t care, at least for now. I just want to get my rest, and be healthy for the Morrissey concert on Friday. I’m going to see Morrissey!! God! I still don’t believe it, and I think I will be in total shock when I see him. I’m going to cry that day, so much! Ha ha. Jenn said she’s gonna make sandwiches for that day and we can eat them when we’re waiting in line—all day. I don’t care- at least I won’t be in school. I hope my mom actually lets me go because, as always, at the last minute she is being unsure and like, expects me to sell my ticket or something. Fat chance. She’s crazy.
It’s so weird-since last night after the show, I didn’t have a GIAC or theSTART song in my head, but a Cure song. Charlotte Sometimes. And it’s in my head again today. I really love that song! Me and Nina were dancing and we were pretty much the only ones dancing, but they were playing the Smiths and the Cure and Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It was fun. We’re dorks.
October 28, 2004
Today it’s Thursday and we’re leaving tonight to go to Austin. We’re spending the night at this girl Andrea’s house, who is a friend of Andrea and Jenn and Phanie. I’m dressed as Marilyn Monroe today, wearing black Capri pants, fishnets and flats, and a white sleeveless boat neck shirt. I put my hair in these little twisty things on top of my head and kept them in all night and took them out this morning and now my hair is all curly!! You don’t know how much it hurts to be pretty. Because it really does. I think I’ll just go dressed like this- well, take a shower before going to Nina’s, but wear this same thing and look all cute!
October 29, 2004
So, today really sucks. No Morrissey. No Austin. Morrissey cancelled—he lost his voice supposedly. I’m going to die. I’m really depressed. God.
November 1, 2004
Yesterday was Halloween and I went to a vegan pot-luck at Ernesto’s house. They had good food. Ernesto’s band played and they were so freaking good. I can’t wait to see them at shows!
On Saturday the 30th, Antonio had his little shindig at his house and it was fun. Yeah. Umm, anyway, we played Twister and video games and watched movies and ate pizza and played truth or dare. Kinda dorky, but fun. Anyway, gotta get to working. On what, I don’t know. Latazzz.
November 2, 2004
Boys are mean. They like to hurt girls. I don’t know why.
Maybe I’m not meant to find someone here in San Antonio. I don’t feel like I’m meant to be here anyway. I want to get out of here, out of this town, start a different and better life. I want to meet someone who will understand me, and right now I don’t even understand myself. So I guess I won’t have anyone for a while. I really want to go to LA with the girls (in a coma) because they’re going for Thanksgiving and they’re going to have Thanksgiving with theSTART! That’s really cool. Aimee Echo is going to make tofurkey for dinner. We would be staying at Aimee’s house! Wow!
I gotta go.
November 4th, 2004
So, boys are trouble. And I have that song in my head. Cool! I mean, I guess. Here goes.
Hey!
We got something to say!
Boys are trouble!
Boys are trouble!
Boys are trouble!
Boys are trouble!
Hey!
Nina’s got something to say!
(I forgot her verse)
Hey!
Carly’s got something to say!
I hate the boys
Because they take my toys
And cause they’re cute
I just can’t give them the boot
They grab my ass
Right in the middle of class
And all he says is, “I love you baby”
Hey!
We’ve got something to say!
Well, I kinda forgot everything else.
November 5th 2004
Yeah, that’s a dorky song. But it’s mine! And I don’t care!
Anyway, today is first Friday and I have to stay at Say Si. Kinda sucks. I want to walk around and go to Jive and stuff but I guess I won’t. I guess it will be ok because I’m going to be performing. I really just want to go to First Friday and sit on the sidewalk and play guitar and sing and hopefully people would give me money. That would be fun. Plus, I really need money. Maybe I’ll do it in December. But who knows what’s going on for the December first Friday. I dunno.
November 10, 2004
So, here’s my life. I am at school, and I have no idea what to do. Well, except write in this journal. About nothing. Anyway, I really really hope I can go to L.A. for Thanksgiving. I need to stop talking about it!!
So we’re making books at Say Sí for the December First Friday and I hope to take a boy there and show him what I do. I really can’t wait to work on my project. I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing in this class, and I actually do kind of want to do my work, but I also…really… don’t. Ha. Later.
crazy weekends and vegan pot-lucks.
I just thought this would be a funny but quick story. Monica's heard it. She laughed. hehe.
So, on Halloween I went to this vegan pot-luck, and there was this guy that went with us (me, nina, jenn, phanie- aka girls in a coma- well, except for me) and he is like really in...lust with nina. He's really creepy, and the girls pretty much only hang out with him because he always brings alcohol. Ugh. Anyway, so we we're at this VEGAN pot-luck and i notice something. He(we'll call him Gabe) is wearing this pirate-crusader type costume. Complete with feathered hat and sword. Well, not feathered sword, but you get my point. Anyway, so I'm sorta lookin' at his costume and I notice this one strange thing about it...
IT IS ALL LEATHER.
Like leather freaking pants and vest. Completely. And he's not a small dude. I was so disgusted. And, of course, Jenn was dressed as a cow while Phanie had a "meat is murder" shirt on and was holding a pickett sign that reads "Don't Eat My Friends". How freaking ironic is that?
So that's all I wanted to say.
And that Morrissey was cancelled. Yes, very shitty.
I want to be in love. Somebody find it for me!!
