first date

bad at goodbyes

God, why do I put myself through this? Nobody's leaving forever, and yet here I am with salt on my face. I spent the last year becoming an emotionless person so that maybe I could forget having to go through such shit again. I push my sadness down into the deepest pit of an empty heart and hope it will only be forgotten dust in a corner. I don't want it to be a last goodbye, and I know it isn't so why do I act like it is? It is just so hard for me. For someone to tell you to be good and that they'll be back and that they love you is just something that I seem I can never trust, because it was never really proven to me. It hurts so much.

posted by carlygarza @ 10:20 PM