first date

My body turns and yearns for a sleep that won't ever come.

My kingdom for a kiss upon the shoulder...

I don't know what to think these days. What with fights among friends, hurried apologies, and people acting very strangely. Confusion about what to do this summer, or what to do with the rest of our lives. I just want everyone to be content, but I know that no matter how hard I try I know there will always be something in the way. I only have good intentions. I understand that life is not easy and you have to go through shit before you can really get what you want. I don't want to make a mistake with my life. And I want the same for all the people I care about- I don't want them to make mistakes that could decide their whole life, is all. I don't want to be working at Starbucks for ten years, and I'm sure none of my friends do, either.
I want to go to school and find a big studio awaiting me, with paints among paints, piles of canvases, and a gigantic easel. I want to walk into the dark room and hang my photographs on strings to dry. I want to spend my nights onstage, the best thirty minutes of my life--playing and singing for friends and fellow musicians, letting out all my frustrations there and giving them to the wind. I want to travel...Italy shows all her beauty to my journal as we tour the country. I want to wake up in my bed with fields of white fluffy covers and look at the window, white-yellow light shining in as I stand up, stretch out my arms, turn on my record player and make myself a cup of tea. I'll be reading a book as my love comes into the room, kisses my neck and starts making breakfast.

posted by carlygarza @ 12:25 PM